I just moved my office at work to a different floor of my buiding, and all of a sudden I'm influxed with tons of attention from a few stunningly attractive interns who work here and sit nearby.
This is my first post-collegiate professional job, and up until this point, I haven't really met any women at this company of interest to me until I moved my office yestarday(And I've been here for almost 4 years!).
Let's hear some stories/warnings of pitfalls/advice on how to go about this at work...or if it's something to avoid(don't want to get anything negative to impact my professional life).
One of them has my eye soo bad, that it will be hard not to act tho.
What do you do, partyman? If the gender ratio is about even, that might be cool. If you're like me and you work in a 95-5% environment, she probably sees so many guys everyday that she wouldn't be open to it.
Then again, why would you take my advice on girls?
"struan87 you are way better than Google!" --BCole Pictures.
You lucky bastard!!! Tread lightly my friend. If you don't work directly together it's not too bad. If you are in any type of managerial or a mentor for them then stay clear.
A little small talk and ask to grab some lunch, keeping it simple/friendly till you can sense they're really into you. That way if it doesn't flow, neither of you feel threatened. You don't want to make them feel pressured to go out with you on an actual date.
Things will happen naturally and a real date will follow.
Enjoy!
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Try not to hit on them too much while your at work. Just ask them if they want to go get a few drinks after work or something. Or maybe you can go to lunch with them.
Heres a story: An ex girlfriend of mine (Now just a friend) is a chemist. She is 1 of 2 girls that work where she works. There is a slightly older guy that works there who is a multi millionaire. He is IN LOVE with her, and she wants nothing to do with him. While we were dating he bought 2 tickets to the Chris Rock show for him and her to go. She said that she didnt want to go with him, so he gave her the tickets and I went with her. A few days after we broke up she found a Tiffany necklace, and a Tiffany bracelet on her desk. Then a few weeks after that he sent her and her friend to Vegas to see Brittney Spears...A couple of weeks ago he asked her if she wanted to go see Maroon 5, but he didnt tell her that it was in Vegas until the day before. She ended up going with him, and she said that he tried to get her to sleep with him, but she turned him down, and had to tell him that she didnt like him that way...Yesterday she found an ipod sitting on her desk...Crazy huh?
General feel on this is be very careful on romance in the workplace. You can get in big trouble. Hell, that's where I met my wife.
You can get into some deep water though in today's politically correct, harrassment charged environment. Specifically, If you are now, or ever expect to be the person's supervisor - WARNING. If you have asked once, maybe twice, for a date and are declined - STOP. No hanky panky in the office or at office parties.
If you do get something going with a non-potential subordinate, try to get the rules of decorum straight early on. Fond looks and smiles are OK in the workplace, but OOOOgling, butt-grabs, and lip-locks, not so much.
Good luck! And remember the 2 cliche's on the topic:
Don't dip your pen in company ink and
if you have to think twice about doing it, don't.
Right, remember that not only will you have to work with this person, but everyone else at the company will have to work with the both of you. That means hands off from 9-5. If you can't do that, find someone outside.
"struan87 you are way better than Google!" --BCole Pictures.
Repeated unwanted attention can generally create legal issues. There is a responsibility for the person receiving the unwanted attention to express the fact that it's unwanted.
That aside - a work relationship can work for or against you. On one hand, you can feed information to each other, create work alliances, assist each other in getting promotions (since you'll probably have access to different people). You also spend a lot of time at work, so it's a convenient place to meet people, and you get to know them pretty well before the first date.
On the other hand, you may be accused of favoritism, people may dismiss much of your opinion regarding your partner and people who impact your partner, if there is an ugly break-up there may be political ramifications (she may be able to attack your position directly or indirectly) or it may just become uncomfortable at work.
I'd probably just go for it, at worse you'll get canned but it will be a good learning experience (most break-ups aren't ugly, right?).
Advice to the weary: never bang a gong owned by the company.
Advice to the unweary: bang every drum in sight and then bang them again.
Just don't hit on or go out with a woman who is in a junior position -- then you could expose you and your company to possible sexual harassment claims if it does not work out.
Partyman, as they are interns I would have to agree with Orlando. Regardless of intent the fact that these persons are subordinate to you will not look good if anything comes up at a later time.
Sav, it may be time for your friend to file a TRO on the guy. The way you're describing it, this guy is a bit off the deep end.
"you will rue this day....well go on start ru-ing" Stewie Griffin
My rule of thumb is to avoid relationships at work. It always ends badly. On the other hand of course if she is hot enough then hey... your just a guy, you gotta do what you gotta do.
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What FF said, don't dip your pen in the company ink.
If things go bad, women WILL TALK...
A coworker of mine was dating this chick in the sales dept,
rumour has it that he's a 5 pump chump that walks around with a babydick.
Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
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Advice to the weary: never bang a gong owned by the company.
Advice to the unweary: bang every drum in sight and then bang them again.
Just don't hit on or go out with a woman who is in a junior position -- then you could expose you and your company to possible sexual harassment claims if it does not work out.
Advice to the wary: don't get too weary (can't score if you're tired) []
Advice to the unwary: try the 'junior position' a favorite of priests
[:O]
As for Randy, did you get this from a reality show ?: "That aside - a work relationship can work for or against you. On one hand, you can feed information to each other, create work alliances, assist each other in getting promotions (since you'll probably have access to different people)..."
I think I saw this on The Apprentice -or was it Big Brother -no, Survivor.
Ok Partyman, lemme share a little of my past experience with you:
I started at my job the month after I graduated from college (June 2002), and in July, began dating a guy at work...he did work in another department, but only one floor away.
So, we dated for about 2 months, then he broke it off to go running back to his ex, (which he lied to me about). Needless to say, didn't end well. For like a year after, Everytime I saw him I still felt anger towards the bastard. Which, #1, is not a good place to be when you are at work, and #2, is just plain bad for your health. Not saying it would necessarily end badly, but just keep that in mind, like everyone else has said...in the immortal words of Tom Cruise, "If things didn't end badly, they wouldn't end."
Now, playing the devil's advocate: I also know several couples at my company who met there and are now married with families...happy endings can also happen.
So, moral of the story: you're a big boy (and I'm assuming she's a big girl), just use common sense and your best judgement. Oh, and HAVE FUN!![cheers]
And make sure to tell us about it []
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