still what do you thinkt he impact that will have on a child-that may seem like a good option to you. but not them
I know many people that were adopted and they are thrilled that were given up for adoption. They said it is better to be adopted than be dead. They have had wonderful lives and love their adoptive families.
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Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all clean ~ Maya Angelou
I know many people that were adopted and they are thrilled that were given up for adoption. They said it is better to be adopted than be dead. They have had wonderful lives and love their adoptive families.
and thats what i said but you ask them about the transition period and how long it took them to accept the situation. ask them what toll it took on them, did it bring out strong insecurities, whether it made them feel unwanted etc. there are many ways that effects ones person. it would effect me jut like it would effect you.
i never said they didnt like it. just like there are adoptees like my Homegirl that went from bad to worst. then ended up going from foster home to foster home. and having to look over her back for the other kids b/c its like jail mentality. dog eat dog
you cant only look at the good side. yo uhave to look at both and weigh them against each other. and the bad always ends up out weighing the good. thats just being realistic
like i said its not about us its about the well being of the kid.
and thats what i said but you ask them about the transition period and how long it took them to accept the situation.
i never said they didnt like it. just like their are adoptees like my Homegirl that went from bad to worst. then ended up going from foster home to foster home. and having to look over her back for the other kids b/c its like jail mentality. dog eat dog
you cant only look at the good side. yo uhave to look at both and weigh them against each other. and the bad always ends up out weighing the good. thats just being realistic
You are talking about people who were in foster homes. There are adoptions that you can set up right while you are pregnant so the baby never goes to a home. The state comes and investigates to make sure you are fit to be a parent then you are awarded custody. They don't put the babies in foster care all the time. SO there was no transition. My friend was told from the time she was little that she was adopted because her birth mother couldn't take care of her so she was adopted into her new family. She holds no resentment and actually is thnakful for her birth mother giving her up.
So maybe you are the one that needs to look at both sides and not be completely negative at all times because you do not agree with adoption.
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Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all clean ~ Maya Angelou
You are talking about people who were in foster homes. There are adoptions that you can set up right while you are pregnant so the baby never goes to a home. The state comes and investigates to make sure you are fit to be a parent then you are awarded custody. They don't put the babies in foster care all the time. SO there was no transition. My friend was told from the time she was little that she was adopted because her birth mother couldn't take care of her so she was adopted into her new family. She holds no resentment and actually is thnakful for her birth mother giving her up.
So maybe you are the one that needs to look at both sides and not be completely negative at all times because you do not agree with adoption.
do you know how many kids go from birth and are adopted str8 into homes of Pedophilic men sometimes women even the childern of the parents who adopted the child commit these crimes, abusive men or women, their own children are abusive to the adoptee, alcohol abusers, drug users, offenders.
as my mom always said, "people are very different behind their closed doors." and there are millions and millions of these cases never reported out of fear.
you need to open your nose and smell reality little more
do you know how many kids go from birth and are adopted str8 into homes of Pedophilic men sometimes women even the childern of the parents who adopted the child commit these crimes, abusive men or women, their own children are abusive to the adoptee, alcohol abusers, drug users, offenders.
as my mom always said, "people are very different behind their closed doors." and there are millions and millions of these cases never reported out of fear.
you need to open your nose and smell reality little more
I am sure there are a large number of pefophiles that adopt, foster and natural parent babies every day. I do not think that is an excuse for someone to abort rather than think about adoption. I think that is a cop out to say I won't give my child up for adoption because there is a chance they MIGHT be abused. There is a chance they might be hit by a bus, there is a chance they might get bit by a dog or a cat or a bunny. You can't use that as an excuse for having an abortion.
As my mother always said to me live with your mistakes and learn from them. You made your bed lay in it... There are a million cliche's we can throw back and forth but for some reason you seem to want to turn this into a personal thing and I am just not interested.
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Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all clean ~ Maya Angelou
I am sure there are a large number of pefophiles that adopt, foster and natural parent babies every day. I do not think that is an excuse for someone to abort rather than think about adoption. I think that is a cop out to say I won't give my child up for adoption because there is a chance they MIGHT be abused. There is a chance they might be hit by a bus, there is a chance they might get bit by a dog or a cat or a bunny. You can't use that as an excuse for having an abortion.
As my mother always said to me live with your mistakes and learn from them. You made your bed lay in it... There are a million cliche's we can throw back and forth but for some reason you seem to want to turn this into a personal thing and I am just not interested.
and thats my point. you speak from a point of view not being able to empathize with with people and kids that have been through that, will go through it or is going through it.
you just proved once again how selfish your decision is. and that its about you. not about them
and those are your "YOUR" mistakes not theirs. they shouldnt have to deal with something b/c you said "opps my mistake"
and thats my point. you speak from a point of view not being able to empathize with with people and kids that have been through that, will go through it or is going through it.
you just proved once again how selfish your decision is. and that its about you. not about them
and those are your "YOUR" mistakes not theirs. they shouldnt have to deal with something b/c you said "opps my mistake"
again its not about you, its about them.
but you coutinuiously fail to realize that
As you seem to think that it's not the person who did not use protecton or who's protection failed showing your own selfishness. "You" are choosing to abort that child because you don't want to deal with the consequences of "your" actions.
This is the most absurd arguement I have ever had. Someone saying that killing a child is less selfish than giving it up for adoption to one of thousands of people who can't have kids.
You think you aren't failing to realize that your arguement is to help people who have abortions sleep at night?
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Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all clean ~ Maya Angelou
As you seem to think that it's not the person who did not use protecton or who's protection failed showing your own selfishness. "You" are choosing to abort that child because you don't want to deal with the consequences of "your" actions.
This is the most absurd arguement I have ever had. Someone saying that killing a child is less selfish than giving it up for adoption to one of thousands of people who can't have kids.
You think you aren't failing to realize that your arguement is to help people who have abortions sleep at night?
no if you cant provide the child with the life it deserves if you dont need to bring it into this world at a huge disadvantage.
Hey 240, you said you and ur girlfriend had an abortion. Do u mind if I ask if adoption was ever a serious choice for you two? Was the reason u didnt want to give the child up because you thought it would be sent into a non-loving, even petaphilic home? Im just curious, what are the numbers as far as adopted childred being sent into a hostile family?
Hey 240, you said you and ur girlfriend had an abortion. Do u mind if I ask if adoption was ever a serious choice for you two? Was the reason u didnt want to give the child up because you thought it would be sent into a non-loving, even petaphilic home? Im just curious, what are the numbers as far as adopted childred being sent into a hostile family?
google it, you'll find the stats. and then google the amount of instances that go unreported
itt would never come up i can deal with my child not coming into this world and not being raised by me. i could not give him or her up knowing they are out there. and not being able to see how their develoment process goes.
from grow physically, to seeing how they mature as a person, and just watching them grow
NO adoption is never an option for us. especially not me. i dont believe in dumpin gmy responsiblity one someone else
240ka, I hope the day you decide to have children you can, if you ever decide to.
want children but not until im married and my acting career has taken off. around the age 32 is when i would start my family but no sooner. i too many things to accomplish before they get here.
so therefore i can provide them the life i want them to have
Looked up the numbers, i could only find up 1998. There are roughly 3 million claims of child abuse/neglect (thats from everyone, including parents), about 1 million of those claims were substaniated. Roughly 36,000 children that were adopted from public foster care claimed they were abused. There were no statistics for children that were adopted from birth (which is actually what we are debating about here). But this does paint a general picture. Interpret as you will.
Also, putting your responbility on others is bad, yes, but the majority of the people that want to adopt a child from birth are genuine in their feelings for adopting. So, like we have been discussing, for me, its better than the alternative.
