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Old 04-01-2007, 12:12 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default McDonalds- I almost killed people!

I was partying it up last night with my buddy "Dribbles"; and we decided to split a 1.75 ltr bottle of Mr. Boston's Vodka (cheap stuff) before heading downtown. A few hours later we were intoxicated and I was pretty hungry so I jumped in my Iroc and decided to run over to McDonald's.

As I began to pull out of the driveway, I evaluated my current condition and my friend agreed that I was too drunk to be driving around. Since Mickey-D's is only about 1/4 mile away and I was hungry from not eating since breakfast, I walked on over.

I was mindboggled to say the least upon my arrival at the slop-house. I am not by any means a habitual choke-and-puke eater and my daily menu rarely includes a few greasy cheeseburgers so I didn't know that the restaurant was closed...and that only the drive-thru was open. But I figured, "No prob" so I walked up to the window.

Now remember that I have been drinking and I am not a big drinker by any stretch (I only drink on the weekends and Wednesday's usually).

So I started to tap on the glass politely to get the attention of a few youngsters in the establishment. One lad glanced over at me and mustered something to a girl, then did a double-take and finally decided to greet me. He opened the window and said the following:"You must be in a vehicle to order from the drive-thru."; No "Hi" or no "hello", just this rude comment.

Awestruck and immediately angered, I put my arm inside the window and firmly gripped his little lever (device which closes the window) so he would not be able to close it on me. Then I said something along the lines of "Give me 3 ****ing hamburgers or I will kill you and everyone in there."

I am usually a pushover and anyone I know would not be able to comprehend how "I" could say such a thing. But this teenager practically spit in my face with his snubbing remark.

As the boy computed my statement, he began to slowly move backwards away from me. My other arm fired through the opening in the window and grabbed his little skinny arm. I pulled his arm and head outside of the drive-thru and I began to scream. The girl working behind him and another older man working the deep fryer starting yelling for help. I saw her run over to a telephone so I calmly released the lucky-he-is-not-dead boy from my grip and I sprinted home.

This may be an understatement, but I was thrilled at how powerful I felt scaring these people. I celebrated my night by ordering a Domino's Pizza (those people are reliable at least) with my buddy.

It was fun. I bet those kids will never step to a bodybuilder again!
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Old 04-01-2007, 12:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Are you high??
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Old 04-01-2007, 01:08 AM   #3 (permalink)
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LmaO ... damn man, stop picking on smaller people!!!
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Old 04-01-2007, 08:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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You better hope they don't have video of you. You clearly violated a few laws there.
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Super did not write that, he doesn't have the skillz. Happy April Fools to you as well.
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Kick his ass, Sea Bass.
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Old 04-01-2007, 01:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
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That was my cousin, and he wants me to get your ass.
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Old 04-01-2007, 03:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm not even going to bother reading it.
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Old 04-01-2007, 07:48 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I thought it might ba an April Fools joke. I hope so.
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Old 04-02-2007, 11:59 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Hey I like this one better than the other creative story submission. That other one was too right out of Fresh Prince.
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Old 04-02-2007, 05:29 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Huh? I never got passed the "bodybuilder" part. I was too busy laughing my ass off...
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