6MT.net Infiniti G35/G37/GTR Community

Hot Foot · 03-19-2008, 04:44 PM

Boudreaux and the Donkey
Boudreaux left the bayou and moved to Arkansas where he bought him a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said "I'm sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died last night."

"Well, den" said Boudreaux, "jus' give my money back, yeah."

"I can't do that Sir; I went and spent it already."

"OK, den. Jus' unload dat donkey."

"What are you gonna do with him?"

"I'm gon-to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle a dead donkey, you dumb Cajun!"

"Well dats where you wrong!! You wait you! an' you learn how smart we Cajuns are!"
A month later the farmer ran into the Cajun and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
"I raffled dat donkey off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made $998."
"Didn't anyone complain?"
"Just dat guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

dofu · 03-20-2008, 01:21 AM

Q: What do Disneyland theme parks and breasts have in common?

A: Both were meant for children, but adults enjoy them too!

dofu · 03-20-2008, 01:23 AM

An Asian lady was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated...
She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
To which the Asian lady replied, "Fluc you white people, too!"

drew1 · 03-22-2008, 10:26 AM

Springtime means Turkey Hunting in Georgia.

A couple of weeks before opening day of turkey season, Bubba & Earl were out riding around checking out pastures for flocks of hens & occasionally stopping listening for Toms gobbling. Bubba said, "We're about out of beer."

Earl noticed the fuel guage was close to "E" also, "We're low on gas, too" Off to town they headed.

As Earl was pulling the truck into a conveinence store, Bubba said not here. After passing another gas station, Bubba pointed down the road, "There, stop there."

In front on the filling station was a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill Up". With a smile Earl said, "fill'er up."

After all, the attendant told Earl, "That's $52.26 with the beer."

"Wait a minute." said Earl pointing to the sign.

The attendant replied, " That's a contest, Pick a number between 1 & 10.", while putting his hands behind his back.

"7 is my lucky number, 7!", Earl hollered.

"Naw the number is 4.", the attendant said pulling out 4 fingers sticking up.

Bubba asked, "What about me, I pick 2".

The attendant said "I done told you, the number is 4. Be seeing yall boys."

As they were pulling out, Earl grumbled, " That is the highest price gas in town, & that contest is a Ripoff."

Popping a top, Bubba said, "No its not a Ripoff, My wife won twice last week."

Hot Foot · 04-11-2008, 09:46 AM

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond

formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some

construction workers that will make you believe

that we all can make a difference when we give

a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a

vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began

to build a house on the empty lot. The young

family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an

interest in the goings-on and spent much of

each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them

'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her

as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with

her during coffee and lunch breaks and gave her

little jobs to do here and there to make her feel

important. At the end of the first week, they even

presented her with a pay envelope containing ten

dollars. The little girl took this home to her

mother who suggested that she take her ten

dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next

day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the

teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl

how she had come by her very own pay check at

such a young age. The little girl proudly replied,

'I worked last week with a real construction crew

building the new house next door to us.'

'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will

you be working on the house again this week, too?'

The little girl replied, 'I will, if those assholes at

Home Depot ever deliver the f _ ckin' sheet rock.'

Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

Hot Foot · 04-23-2008, 04:35 PM

The REAL Old West

A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West.

The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition.

"Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"Sure will," replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"

"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw".

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

"You bet it will," said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player .

"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your a$$, and won't hurt as much.

zerovdub · 04-30-2008, 08:57 AM

^^ ^hahaha

thatguy · 04-30-2008, 01:26 PM

knock...knock...

Archer Troy · 04-30-2008, 02:15 PM

lol..................

Hot Foot · 07-03-2008, 04:21 PM

Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, 'surely I Can't Look That Old?

Well.. You'll Love This One.

My Name Is Alice Smith And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First Appointment With A New Dentist. I Noticed His Dds Diploma, Which Bore His Full Name. Suddenly, I Remembered A Tall, Handsome, Dark-haired Boy With The Same Name Had Been In My High School Class Some 40-odd Years Ago. Could He Be The Same Guy That I Had A Secret Crush On, Way Back Then?

Upon Seeing Him, However, I Quickly Discarded Any Such Thought. This Balding, Gray-haired Man With The Deeply Lined Face Was Way Too Old To Have Been My Classmate.

After He Examined My Teeth, I Asked Him If He Had Attended Morgan Park High School. "yes. Yes, I Did. I'm A Mustang," He Gleamed With Pride. "when Did You Graduate?" I Asked. He Answered , "in 1959. Why Do You Ask?"

"you Were In My Class!", I Exclaimed. He Looked At Me Closely. Then, That Ugly, Old, Bald, Wrinkled, Fat Ass, Gray-haired, Decrepit Sob Asked, "what Did You Teach?"