If I didn't have feelings for the guy anymore, and was just using him when I was bored I wouldn't mind if he went out with my friend. Especially if I knew he was a good guy and they would get along well.
__________________
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all clean ~ Maya Angelou
Now if it was a (guy) friend's ex, then it's definitely off limits. Not really sure about the whole woman thing, you'd need to get some input from the girls.
This brings to mind the Seinfeld episode about the switch out. You should proceed with George Costanza's 3-some ploy.
ahahahhahha gzire's right just watch seinfeld and you will answer most if not all of your relationship questions...dont follow their example however, its more of a what not to do
If I didn't have feelings for the guy anymore, and was just using him when I was bored I wouldn't mind if he went out with my friend. Especially if I knew he was a good guy and they would get along well.
I don't know a single girl that would admit to this - so this approach / theory would not work. Girls are calculating. Like I said... she would not introduce you to her friend unless she 1) did not feel threatened by her 2) did not care 3)plain stupid.
or 4) in the words of #2 " manage -toi"
Disclamer : no one should take me seriously nor follow my advise when it comes to women . I will not be held responsible when your X's foot meets your crotch with a sertain " UMMPH".
but seriously: go for it - just imagine how it can be ...
I do think that it would strain their relationship initially. How long is the big question. Like I said though I definitely do care for the ex. I've known her since high school and would have a hard time if she were to decide to cut off our friendship. She might be the only person on the planet that I actually trust implicitly.
So to sum up. No, I'm not willing to lose the ex as a friend. I do think that their friendship might suffer initially, but I also think that it would settle down after everyone got comfortable with the situation.
Is this why nice guys finish last?
You say you trust her implicitly right? Does that mean you trust her enough to believe what she tells you to be the absolute truth or would you question she might be hiding her true feelings about you/her friend/this whole situation because of some other reason?
IMO, you are in no mans land. I've never really had a romantic situation go very smoothly when it involves an ex's current friend. I've sorta developed a no touchy policy- it's kinda like you are invading their space in a weird way.
Another perspective- Would you be okay if your ex wanted to date one of your close friends? I dunno......
You say you trust her implicitly right? Does that mean you trust her enough to believe what she tells you to be the absolute truth or would you question she might be hiding her true feelings about you/her friend/this whole situation because of some other reason?
Damn, good point. Maybe I don't trust her implicitly.
Well, I trust that she'd tell me the truth about what's in her mind at that particular moment. But she is a woman and what's true today may not necessarily be true tomorrow.
No offense intended ladies, I mean this in a joking manner though you do have to admit...
Normally I agree with your no touchy policy JL, but the friend was interesting enough to me to consider risking it.
__________________ Willing is not enough, we must do. Knowing is not enough, we must apply.
--Bruce Lee
^^^ Sounds like you are definitely in no mans land then- no easy decisions here.
You and your ex obviously have some type of connection in order to stay close friends over the years. You bring up a good point with being truthful in the moment and sometimes people have too many varying emotions to sort through in a day, week, month etc.
How good of friends are these girls- best buds or lets go to the club and party every now and again? Not needing any details but your level of intimacy with the ex may play a big part in this. Maybe she only felt comfortable bringing her girl around because you and her had something going. Hell, maybe I'm completely off base and there is no intimacy between you two.
I vote go with whatever will leave you with no/less regrets regardless of how things may turn out- problem is, only you have the best educated guess on what that might be.
You'll never be the bad guy if you're honest. So be honest with what ever you do. I would approach the ex first with the question of would it bother you if I date your friend. If she answers no, then still move slowly, but move ahead. If you're a good guy, which it seems you are since you are asking about a situation like this instead of just saying the hell with it, the ex will have no problem with you persuing a friend, if there's no fellings there. If there are, then the next discussion must occur about what to do with those feelings. Make her realize nothing's going to come of them, or move on to persue that relationship. If she's that good of friend to you, she's gonna see you date other girls and is going to have to accept that as a part of your life if she still wants to be a part of it too.
At the end of the day, be true to yourself and honest with those involved and you will be able to sleep at night no matter what comes of it.
__________________
Formally known as: 05 Brilliant Silver MT Sedan. Premium, Sport and Aero Packages. 18\" Sport wheels.
05 Hayabusa. Black and Silver,M4 exhaust. The G is fast, just not this fast.
AutoForums.com is the premier network of enthusiast-owned
enthusiast-operated automotive communities.
We operate more than 100 automotive forums where our users consult peers for shopping information and advice, and share
experiences and opinions as a community.
