I don't mind discussing anything in chat...I'm a writer and an amateur exhibitionist. But if you have anything ultra private you are welcome to contact me.
*susanb@cmhcsys.com* or *lovechild1970@yahoo.com* and then also I'm not doing much really late tonight either...614-793-2208
how about stripping away his power. Don't answer calls or return em. Make plans with people and fill your schedule to the point where ya can't see him. Don't give him a chance to control
Someone who doesn't let you do anything without them knowing every move you make. Jealous to the point that you can't talk to any men at all when they are around. Nothing physical. I love him but I had alot of male friends and he knew this before and it only recently started to bother him.
Do you guys think this could mean he is cheating and trying to push blame at me?
If he's cheating I think there would be other signs.
Being in a controlling relationship is not a good place to be. I'd sit him down and discuss this ASAP no matter how unpleasant it may be, if not it'll only get worse. Also you might want to think about couples counseling. If he cares enough for you he'll go. Even if he hates the whole process, if it's a matter of losing you or going to the counseling he goes. If he doesn't go kick him to the curb.
You seem like a nice gal and should have a good guy. Too much sour gals over here lately.
Best of luck ggirl.
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Now I'm just laid bad - G35Princess
R.I.P. MBC
Thanks Gzire! I have tried to get him to go to counseling he thinks that it's a waste of time. I guess I just wanted to hear from people away from the situation what they thought. It's since we got engaged that he changed.
I have been thinking about breaking it off but I guess I am afraid to be alone. It's been awhile but I really just want to have fun and enjoy my youth. Thanks everyone for your input.
He needs to mature some really. Once he comes to the realization that you are with someone because THEY want to be with you (and vice versa) and not because you MAKE them be with you, he is better off. It doesn't matter if my girl talks to, dances with, flirts with, gets free drinks from, any guy or guys out there. She loves me, and I know for a fact, that is all that will happen between her and the others - she's coming home with me tonight
If she cheats, it's because she is not happy with me, and we can end it. It's not because I didn't let her meet other people and see how "bad" I am in comparison. It's like the kids in high school with the whole "you stole my girlfriend" attitude. Dude - you cannot "steal" something you don't own. She is a person, and makes her own decisions as to who she hangs out with etc.
The only stipulation I have here is that if you are in a commited long term relationship and not "just dating" is that you DO have some input in who they hang out with and the other way around too. If my girl started to hang out with coke heads, we'd have a talk about that, and what it would do to our relationship. Talk is good, the most common problem in any relationship is lack of communication. Have you told him you feel like he is controlling, and it's stifling you? He can't know there is a problem unless he is told about it - never assume.
Also, I married at 23, divorced at 24 I had feelings like I should have broken it off, and didn't listen to my own heart. It's never easy to do the right thing, or people would never do the wrong thing.
NW is right. It sounds like a self confidence issue. You can't fix that by changing your behavior. Gzire is right as well you are too great to not have someone leading the way and inspiring you to be a better person as your man. There are a million ways you could handle it but perhaps you could tell him you are thinking about breaking the engagement and that you love and care for him but prefer a happy life. Maybe he would understand if you said that you could no longer in good faith say you will stand beside him for the rest of his life when he is unwilling to grow emotionally and show his love for you in healthy, fun, mature ways.
Talk is good, the most common problem in any relationship is lack of communication. Have you told him you feel like he is controlling, and it's stifling you? He can't know there is a problem unless he is told about it - never assume.
Also, I married at 23, divorced at 24 I had feelings like I should have broken it off, and didn't listen to my own heart. It's never easy to do the right thing, or people would never do the wrong thing.
Yes we have talked about it and he says "Oh I trust you it's them I don't trust." It doesn't even matter if it's his friends or brother he is still the same. I am a friendly person but I don't think I am flirting with them just talking about their lives... I guess it is time to call it quits I've been thinking about it for awhile. People keep telling me to get rid of him that I can do better... It's just hard to remove a part of your life. And he better not try to keep my dog.
If we knew where you live, we'd send the guys that enforce the no-spinner rules to retrieve the dog in the case of any problems......unless it's a poodle. Poodles have no rights.
Anyway, it seems like you've got some things to work out and I wish you the best on this. It really seems like you should not be engaged until the problems are worked out, if at all.
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Now I'm just laid bad - G35Princess
R.I.P. MBC
If we knew where you live, we'd send the guys that enforce the no-spinner rules to retrieve the dog in the case of any problems......unless it's a poodle. Poodles have no rights.
Anyway, it seems like you've got some things to work out and I wish you the best on this. It really seems like you should not be engaged until the problems are worked out, if at all.
No he's not a poodle he's a Pit Bull.
And yeah I am starting to beleive all the people who told me I was to young to get engaged but I thought I knew everything. I think I will tell him "we need a break". I hope we can work it out but it doesn't seem like it will.
I would talk with him about it before you just break it off. Sometimes guys can I have really low self-esteem and feel that he is not good enough for you. He could also feel as if any guy could take you away, so he is trying to protect himself.
I would talk with him about it before you just break it off. Sometimes guys can I have really low self-esteem and feel that he is not good enough for you. He could also feel as if any guy could take you away, so he is trying to protect himself.
A pretty good assessment for someone so young. I'm not a big fan of anyone young getting married. By young I mean under 26, but when we are young we are often in a rush to do things now rather than thinking about the long run.
So Jason if you get engaged I'm going to come out there and give you a boot in your ass.
__________________
Now I'm just laid bad - G35Princess
R.I.P. MBC
I would talk with him about it before you just break it off. Sometimes guys can I have really low self-esteem and feel that he is not good enough for you. He could also feel as if any guy could take you away, so he is trying to protect himself.
A pretty good assessment for someone so young. I'm not a big fan of anyone young getting married. By young I mean under 26, but when we are young we are often in a rush to do things now rather than thinking about the long run.
So Jason if you get engaged I'm going to come out there and give you a boot in your ass.
I bought a house instead. No wedding bells yet, I want to wait for at least another year or so. But I will invite everyone from 6mt, not that any will show though.
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Question for the girls of 6mt
I had feelings like I should have broken it off, and didn't listen to my own heart. It's never easy to do the right thing, or people would never do the wrong thing.
